#˟ ▀ heartz
honestly chungha was still waiting for sphere to pull out the rug from beneath her. it was lingering in her mind every day as she learned the lyrics to singing in the rain. it was more electropop (kind of?) sound but it was definitely unique. it caught chungha’s attention immediately. she had found herself loving it more and more as time went on. sometimes it just didn’t click to her that this song was hers. it wasn’t a cover, it wasn’t homage to another idol, it was hers.
it didn’t seem real.
throw in learning the choreography (which wasn’t too bad, honestly) it really began to cement to chungha that this was it. how crazy was that? her song, her lyrics, her choreography. to add to it: she was even getting a duet with sua who had been confirmed the previous month. chungha’s entire life had been absorbed by the heartz project thus far but it seems like now that’s all her life was. nothing but heartz every day now. it felt chaotic but not in a bad way.
“i like your hair,” chungha tells sua with a smile. it was a little thrilling to be in a subunit with sua. they’ve both come such a long way to get here. it sort of felt….right, almost. she shrugs off sua’s apologies. chungha knew how busy she must have been with her own debut less than a month away and now she has to do a duet with chungha for her debut. it was crazy.
“i can’t expect you to drop everything and sing with me,” chungha jokes. truthfully most of her attention had been on her solo song as well. of course she practised love letter. it was every bit a song of hers as singing in the rain was but it fell to the backburner a bit. especially with her having to do the group evaluation too this month.
“i think i like the sound. it’s kind of slower tempoed but i think it’s really cute. i only heard the track and singing guide. i know it’s going to sound a lot different with our voices.” and the editing and changes to suit their vocals too. even if chungha liked it now, she knows it wouldn’t be the final product. “how have you been doing? excited for next month?”
the fact that she’s sitting here now, with chungha feels like a genuine relief. the guilt that she felt last month is dissipating little by little and now that chungha has actually joined the lineup, things feel a little more righted in the world. her own doesn’t feel like it’s tipping on its axis and like she could fall off at any moment. the fact that they’re in a subunit together makes it all the more … right.
there’s still a lot that sua has to come to terms with when it comes to heartz and being part of its lineup, not to mention being forced into a life with sphere for however long their contract term will be. but at the very least, things are slowly starting to make at least a little bit of sense.
she shakes her head to pull herself from her thoughts, a slight frown on her lips when chungha compliments her hair. as if this isn’t just number one of a large number of things that she hates about her debut - sua never wanted to go blonde; she’s spent years keeping her hair dark and focused on keeping it undamaged. that all went out the window the minute sphere decided she was going to debut. “ mm .. thanks. i guess it’s all right.” she says with a sigh, picking up a strand of her dead hair and frowning as it falls lifeless from her fingers. “ hopefully i can go back dark soon.”
sua tucks her hair back behind her ear and shakes her head once more, waving her off. “ your second song is still important, even if everyone’s attention will be on your debut song. and for that, you need me but i wasn’t here so … i still want to make some time for you.”
flicking through the sheet music, sua nods with a hum. “ i was listening to the guide for it on the trip to film my music video. our voices will suit it well, i think. i can’t imagine singing it with anyone else.” she says finally, sitting back in her seat but the next question gives her pause. “ i’m fine.” truthfully, she’s not really sure how to answer it. excitement is definitely not the word that she would use. “ i think i’m too tired right now to feel excited. maybe ask me again next month.”
@rksuas ( dated to early september )
it’s been a month since yuzu had moved but so far she hadn’t made much progress to feeling at home in this dorm. the constant awareness of 4- now 5 other girls around her she could potentially upset with just being herself keep her more quiet, more thoughtful, more avoidant of them solely out of fear for stepping onto anyone’s toes.
now that she has not one but two roommates, the unwillingness of her brain to rest and just sleep was even greater and she wondered if she would ever call this place her home.
patting into the kitchen at the woo hours in the morning, she’s surprised to find sua there. how out of it was yuzu to not even have noticed the female missing from her bed. “hey eonni,” she greets the other sleepily, brushing her hair back casually. “what ya doin’ up?”
in a few more days, she’ll have the dorm completely to herself. that doesn’t really mean that she’s thrilled about staying there alone - or that she’s thrilled about being here at all. it’s hard to get comfortable in a place that feels too small and out of her element. this place doesn’t feel like home; she doubts that it ever will. being in a house with ( eventually ) twelve other girls when she had an entire penthouse to herself feels a bit like someone is playing a really bad joke.
the discomfort has been making it hard to sleep. maybe she’ll have to get her brother to buy her a good mattress at the very least, because this bed in the dorm is just not cutting it for her.
maybe yuzu is the same, because she seems to be padding out of their shared room - or maybe she just came out to get a drink or something. sua doesn’t pretend to know what’s going on in that girl’s head. “ i can’t sleep.” she says finally, straightening her body as she tilts her head. “ i could ask the same for you, though.”
this month feels a bit like a whirlwind. where things seemed to go far too slowly before, days inching by where sua would count down until she could actually deny her contract renewal as if driven by a snail … it all seems too fast now. now, sphere expects the same out of her that they did back in january, too much time spent in practice rooms and not enough rest. it’s like they’re telling her once more that they want to break her, but sua is resilient and resistant. she always has been the rebel with a cause.
this month, aside from her own filming and modeling and recording - now, with the addition of chungha, she has a third song to learn in a short period of time. two songs of her own, and one shared with the second girl in their three part subunit learned in the span of two months. is it always going to be this hasty?
sua keeps the music sheets in front of her, her face carefully neutral. love letter is another song that she finds surprisingly to her tastes, and singing it with chungha at her side feels oddly fitting. turning her attention to chungha, sua tucks back a piece of her now blonde hair - that she quite frankly, hates - behind her ear before speaking. “ sorry i haven’t been around to practice with you enough the past week.” she pauses. “ they’ve had me running everywhere, but .. looking at it, i think this song is good for us. what do you think?”
˟ ▀ &. @rkchungha
there seems to be a lot of september birthdays already in the group of heartz, starting with hers and ending with yuzu’s. the group isn’t even fully decided upon yet, and already there are at least three birthdays this month. she can only imagine the scrambling of the fans when they realize it, trying to get birthday projects together for three members at once will probably prove difficult. truthfully, sua isn’t really sure why she’s thinking of the future like this. she’s still not even sure how to feel about the current situation.
still, since yuzu spent some time to make her feel welcome in the beginning of the month and tried to cheer her up with a birthday cake as she was moving in, sua thinks it’s important for her to do the same. they’ll be spending a lot of time together for the next few years it seems. they’ll be growing closer as time goes by.
sua wears a thin smile as she cuts off the lights in their little room, the light from the candles of a cake she bought from one of the high end confectionaries in gangnam casting dancing shadows on the walls. it’s a pretty unceremonious occasion, especially considering that yuzu has been revealed as a member of heartz and just came back from hong kong and is likely exhausted but - even a small gesture still means a lot coming from her. “ happy birthday.“ she finally says, simply and calmly. ” sorry i’m not singing.“
˟ ▀ &. @yuzurk
